Saying Goodbye

27 Aug

Last week, the kiddos and I drove daddy to the airport for the mainland. After about a month on the mainland, he’ll be heading off to Afghanistan until the beginning part of next year.

We found out a couple months ago that there was an opening on a deployment, and the husband volunteered. After asking me of course. I said yes. I know he’s been itching to deploy again for awhile now…and the extra money will help us pay off some debt. Both of those things are a plus. I was in denial about him leaving for quite some time…pretty much until a couple days before he left. We had an amazing send off with friends. I made sure that we spent a ton of time as a family and took loads of pictures. We even had family pictures taken finally.

Reilly took it the worst I think…she’s been through a deployment before, but she was so young that she hardly remembers it. She’s had daddy around for the majority of the last three years, and that’s hard to give up. We talked about it as soon as it was confirmed that he was going, and made sure to talk to her about it frequently. Bachman is much too young to understand, and Ophelia can kind of understand but not to the full extent. We’ve been trying and that’s all we can do right now. One day at a time.

As for me…of course I am sad that he’s gone. I miss him like crazy and he hasn’t even been gone for a week. I miss him laying next to me. I miss the help. I miss watching him with the kids. I just miss my husband being here.

But…there’s good news. I feel good about this deployment. I feel like I am in a much better spot than I was during my husband’s last deployment. Last time, we had been married for about 8 months and we had spent the better part of that 8 months apart. We hadn’t even known each other for two months when we got married, so it was crazy. I wasn’t in a good place, we’ll say. I actually ended up seeing a therapist for a couple of months. But…we’ve been through a lot since then. We’ve grown as individuals and as a couple. We’ve become more…grown up.

It won’t always be easy…and it certainly won’t always be fun. And yes, there will be tears shed and nights laying in bed worrying…but that comes with the territory. But I think that despite the fact that I’m away from my family and friends and I have more on my plate now than I did before, I’m a lot stronger than I was a couple years ago. Everything is better now.

My plan is to stay focused on myself and my kids. My mom is coming out for a visit, and so is my best friend. I cannot wait to see them both. I have an amazing group of supportive friends here as well. I am truly thankful for all of them.

We’ll make it through this deployment, like we have everything else, as a family. And we’ll be so awesome.

Taken by Kristen Kean Photography

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