Family Fun Weekend

So in keeping with my “seizing the day” thing, we had a fantastic Saturday! Also, this post is long. So apologies for that.

I forced everyone to get up at 4am (on a Saturday!! Mean mama!) so we could take an hour long drive to out past Honolulu. I normally don’t like driving to that side of the island. The traffic sucks…like, really sucks…and there isn’t enough on that side of the island to warrant an hour long drive. The only thing that’s over there that is even remotely interesting and worth the drive is the shooting range. Though, the beaches are beautiful over there..and the Kona Brewing Co is over there with its tasty, tasty beer…but like I said: traffic blows.

Back on topic. I forced everyone to get up at 4am and we drove to the other side of the island from us so we could watch the sunrise. You can see in my poorly edited picture where we started and where we ended up. (Off topic, but still kind of relevant, I think its funny that you can drive from one side of the island to the other in about an hour. That’s like driving from Olympia to Seattle or close to it back home.)

Roo was actually really, really excited about this for some reason. I don’t know many 7 year olds who are like “HEY! Lets get up before its light outside and take a car trip to go look at the sky!” but she was a trooper about it. All the kids were in fact, which was great.

We were planing on going to the Makapu’u Lighthouse Trail, but by the time we were getting close, we wouldn’t have had time for the mile long walk. But, that’s okay. We can go another morning (not for the sunrise, but early enough that its cool and there isn’t much traffic out there, because I do really want to go). We stopped at a scenic point really close to Sandy Beach, which gave us a great view of the ocean. We could also see  Lānaʻi and Moloka’i, which I thought was pretty badass.

 

So we got there about 20 minutes before sunrise and we just got to listen to the ocean…there were minimal cars driving around (it was almost 6am) so it was pretty peaceful. Sunrise was at 5:58am and let me tell you, it didn’t disappoint. In my life, I’ve seen maybe a handful of actual sunrises…where you can see the sun come up over the horizon. I love them. I think they are incredible and amazingly peaceful. There is just something so beautiful about a new day and more often than not, people just don’t appreciate how awesome our planet is. I had a blast pointing out all the colors to Ophelia (she likes pink and purple!)

This picture is right before sunrise. How cool is that shit? I mean, in Hawaii, we are in the middle of the ocean. Surrounded by water. And you can’t see this just anywhere. I loved it! The colors are just….wow. The husband got way better pictures than I did on the camera I was using. I’m horribly unsteady (I blame the constant flow of caffeine into my system) but he got some amazing pictures. I just snapped a couple shots with my phone. Because that’s how I roll.

 

Finally getting to see the sunrise? Gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I loved every second of it, AND I got to cross something off of my ‘Hawaii Bucket List’.

Then, keeping with our apparent theme of a “family fun day”, we took the kiddos bowling. Let me say this. I love my kids. I love that they love to explore and are interested in the world around them. But it makes things like bowling quite difficult when the little kids just want to run around. Ophelia kept trying to run to the front of the bowling alley to go sit on the ride-on toys (that didn’t work) and she kept trying to play on the gambling machines (you’re too young Ophelia!!!). Bachman just ran around trying to get into anything and everything he possibly could. Reilly was busy trying to chat up a boy. (Oi.) But Reilly also bowled the first strike…of the first game…in the first frame (she was the first person to bowl). So that was pretty awesome for her. Though, she then spent the majority of the first game pouting because she wasn’t bowling anymore strikes. *sigh* Kids, man.

Ophelia thought it was a blast to carry her own (8lb) ball to the “help you bowl” thingy and push it down the ramp. Even Bachman got in on it for a couple frames during the second game. Mostly because Ophelia was getting exhausted and after the first turn, she was done.

 

 

But we all had a blast! I do love doing stuff like this with my kiddos…even if it is tiring to chase them around the bowling alley for over an hour. We got bad-for-you food, enjoyed each others company, and let our kids have fun. Also, they loved wearing bowling shoes…which I think is funny because I used to love wearing bowling shoes when I was a kid too. Now? I think they’re kinda gross….but back then, it was fun.

 

 

 

THEN! After bowling (and a much needed nap for Ophelia) we went to the Toby Keith concert here on post that was put on by the USO. Which, come on…free concert? Hell yes. I used to listen to Toby Keith when I was a little older than Reilly, so it was really cool to go see. We weren’t sure if we were going to make it…shortly after we got home from bowling, it started dumping rain. And it did that for a couple hours. I didn’t really want to take the kids to a huge field, with lots of drunk people, in the rain, past their bedtime. But, the rain cleared up in time, we walked down there and got a decent spot (close enough that we could mostly see what was going on, but far enough away that we didn’t have to deal with a huge crowd). The kiddos got to dance and be crazy…Ophelia pretty much danced through the whole show, minus a few 5 minute breaks where I was sure she was going to pass out in the tent. Bachman ran around like crazy until the concert started, where he promptly nursed and fell asleep in the baby carrier, missing 95% of the concert — and he slept through the whole thing, minus one wake up. How that kid can sleep through all that noise is beyond me, but he did it, and it was really nice to not have to chase him through all the people. I also have to say that I think its great that my kids first concert was country music. My first concert…at 10 (or 9? or 11? I can’t remember…), was to see Alan Jackson. So that was pretty cool. They stayed up way past their bedtime and immediately went to bed when we got home (and slept in till 7am…and yea…that’s sleeping in at our house)…everyone was completely exhausted and happy. Which makes me happy. And, we were creating great memories for our kids.

All in all? A fantastic day. A completely exhausting and long day, but fantastic none the less. I wish every day could be filled with so much awesome. It can’t, of course, but we did get to see some things that we wouldn’t normally get to see, do some things besides go to school/work, clean the house and do boring stuff. And we got to do fun things with our kids. Over the next few weeks, life is going to be busy. We have various BBQs to go to (including our welcome home/going away BBQ), we’re getting ready to move back to the mainland and to visit family. So I’m really glad we got to take the time to have a great family day.

Seizing The Day

I know I have a pretty mundane life. I’m a stay at home mom where the highlight of my day is if I get to take a nap or not. (Kidding. Kind of.)

I have a pretty set routine…wake up, have some coffee, get Reilly up and ready for school, yell at her to quit watching tv and get ready for school, tell Ophelia that no, she can’t have chocolate for breakfast and then I take Reilly to the bus stop, where I have to tell her at least 5 times not to sit or stand on the arm rest of the front seat.

The rest of my day can be up in the air…I may go grocery shopping…or I might clean up a room that’s a disaster…and sometimes, I sit on my ass all day and read a book. It varies day to day, but the same shit always happens…get up, shower, fill the rest of the day up with stuff, dinner, and bedtime.

When I was 22, a little over a year after I had Reilly, I decided my life was boring. I was stuck in a rut with my then-boyfriend, I was poor (even though I had a job)…I was just miserable. So while my ex went to Warped Tour with all his friends (using money I made at my job, funny enough) I took the day off work and went and got a tattoo. It’s on my foot and it says Carpe Diem. It’s one of my favorite tattoos. And I don’t always seize the day…life happens…kids happen…that’s just how it goes. But since I got that tattoo, I’ve taken life less for granted and more for what it is…that no day is guaranteed. That life is short and that nothing is waiting for me after I’m gone. I have this life and this life alone and I need to make the best of it.

Enter my husband of 5 and a half years. We met and got married after less than 2 months of knowing each other. We seized the day and have a pretty great relationship. 2 cars, 3 kids and a dog. With him being in the military, we move every few years. Never did I ever think I’d get to live in Hawaii. And in a month and a half or so, we’re heading to California. Somewhere I’ve always wanted to live.

Which brings me to last weekend. Skydiving has been something I’ve always wanted to do. Jumping out of a plane? Where you could possibly die? You want to feel alive…go skydiving. Of course, there are tons of other ways to feel alive…but watching the ground come at you at 120mph? Jumping out of a tiny plane above cloud level with nothing to save you but a thin veil of fabric? It’s definitely an experience of a life time.

I was so nervous on the drive to the facility. I was nervous as I strapped up and then got on the plane. I was pretty much nervous until I got to the door of the airplane with my tandem jumper strapped to my back and I was basically shoved out of a plane.

The free fall was amazing…I can’t even describe it. After we jumped, I felt so exhilarated.

We fell for about a minute before the chute was deployed, and then I got to spend the remainder of the time looking at all the beauty around me. The ocean, the beach, the mountains…all of it was gorgeous…

And I didn’t die. And the only things that top jumping out of a plane (so far)? Getting married to my husband and my relationship with him, and my children.

So I’m vowing to do more things that will make lasting memories…for myself…for my husband and I…and for the kids. Because when I’m on my deathbed, I don’t want to be thinking about all the things I didn’t get a chance to do in life. I want to remember all the things I got to do. I want to remember the feelings I felt while doing those things and how I felt afterwards. After we landed on the ground after skydiving, I was so happy. So stinking happy. Like, on a ridiculous high, better than anything I’ve ever smoked.

This weekend, I want to go see the sunrise. There have maybe been a handful of times I’ve actually been somewhere that I can see a gorgeous sunrise…so I want to experience one in Hawaii before we leave.

And I know…that we won’t always be able to do whatever we want. We have lives. We have responsibilities. We have jobs and a whole bunch of not-so-fun stuff that we have to do on a regular basis. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take the time to live a little and seize the day more often.

Tattoos

I’ve been getting tattoos for 10 years (wow…it doesn’t seem like that long!) over the years, I’ve gotten 18 tattoos…most with a special meaning to me, about my life at the time. Any time I walk into a studio, they forgo the care instructions discussion and just give me a quick reminder that the worst part will only last a few minutes, then quickly mumble “but you’ve done this before…” and get on with it.

I’ve been itching to get some new ink over the last few months since it was March of 2011 when I got my last ink (thanks pregnancy and deployment!) so I decided that since the husband was home, I could leave the kids with him while I went and got some work done!

The fun thing about this trip (yesterday, April 13, 2013) was that I was getting some artwork that my oldest daughter drew. So I decided to take her with me! She’s been to tattoo studios before, but has never actually seen anyone getting a tattoo before. She also went with me when I got my lip pierced, and she had fun watching me get jabbed with a needle. While we were waiting for the artist, Kobi, at Tattoo Hawaii (in Honolulu) to get set up, she asked when he was going to start…she was anxious to watch me get jabbed with needles (she totally admitted that).

So my badass 7 year old got to watch her mommy (who will be “too old” for tattoos in 11 years, apparently) get inked up. She had fun! She got to watch the art of tattooing…she got to chat up one of the owners and make new friends.

I got to spend some alone time with my baby girl and my husband got to spend some time with the wee babes.

All in all, an awesome way to spend a couple hours! In addition to the picture that little miss badass drew, I finally got to get Bachmans name done (14 months later) and add to my husband tattoo since he got promoted (almost a year ago!)

Reilly and I at Tattoo Hawaii!

My zombie that Reilly drew! Love!

Bachmans name!! In his daddy’s handwriting!

Husbands rank. <3

Approved!!

No H8 (…Or Wake The Hell Up, Ya’ll)

I’m known to be very vocal about what I believe in. I have breastfeeding stickers on the back of my car. I also have a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign, which pushes for equality in marriage for gay and lesbian couples. Which is what we’re gonna talk about!

Now, I’m not gay. I’m a perfectly happy, straight, married-with-kids woman, and I like it that way. However, I have friends and family who are gay. And I support them, and every single other gay, lesbian or transgendered person in this country.

Why you ask? Why, if I am a heterosexual do I fully and completely support equality for gay and lesbian couples? For the simple fact that love is love.

I’m an Atheist, so I do not have the bible to back my beliefs. Even if I weren’t an Atheist, doesn’t the bible preach love and acceptance? So why, as a race…not as gay, straight, white, black, Christian or Atheist…but as a race, can we not understand the simple premise of compassion and acceptance? Maybe not acceptance for gays and lesbians because they are gay (because I am not saying that everyone has to like marriage equality), but at the very least acceptance because they are people…just like you and me…like my husband and kids…and they deserve decency from fellow humans. They deserve to have the same rights as any other person in America has. They deserve to be able to fuck up their own marriage, just as we straight people can. (Har har har.)

Why is it my business what anyone else decides to do with their life? As Americans, are we really that scared? Are we really that petrified of someone doing something that we aren’t doing? That isn’t “normal”?

The premise behind banning gay marriage (or rather, not allowing it) is completely baffling to me. It really is. And maybe part of that is because I’m an Atheist…but I don’t understand how, as Americans…as the people who live in the “greatest country in the world”, who’s entire being came to be because we didn’t want to be oppressed! We did not want our lives being dictated by other peoples beliefs! How can we possibly stand by and watch as that is done to our own people?

So why now, in the year 2013, is it so hard for people to comprehend that it is not my choice if someone gets married? It is not your choice if someone gets married. It is not the Presidents, or Congresses choice if someone gets married.

My favorite analogy was floating around Facebook today, and it basically goes like this:

Your religion says you can’t watch Dr. Who on Sundays, that doesn’t mean you can outlaw Dr. Who on Sundays. It means that YOU cannot watch Dr. Who on Sundays. I can watch all the Dr. Who on Sunday as I damn well please.

The quote is not exact, but the meaning is there. This goes for…well…pretty much everything. Your religion doesn’t like motorcycles? You don’t try to outlaw motorcycles. Your religion doesn’t like beef stew on Thursdays? You don’t try to outlaw beef stew on Thursdays.

Does everyone get it yet? Let me put it this way: if you do not like gay marriage…because of your beliefs or just because you think it’s icky…you do not get to outlaw gay marriage. You do not get to control other people’s lives in that way. You don’t go into your grown son or daughters home and tell them what they can and can’t eat for dinner do you? No. Because that would be dumb. Because they’re fucking grown ups making grown up decisions.

I’ve also heard that allowing gays to get married will lead to an array of other things…one example being being able to get married to children. Yea. You read that right. Some dumb fucks think that being gay and getting married (read: two consenting adults making a life decision together) is the same thing as pedophilia. Please. Get a fucking grip. The two are in no way connected, not to mention, pedophilia is around whether you’re gay or straight. Will we try to stop straight people from getting married too in case pedophilia starts running rampant? Oh. It already happens?? Go fucking figure.

So please America. Wake the hell up. We are the land of the free and the home of the brave. Let two consenting adults get married, regardless of their gender and just leave it the hell alone. You don’t have to look at it, you don’t have to be friends with them…and you, in reality, have all the power. You pick who your friends are and who you are associated with. You want nothing to do with gay marriage? Absolutely fine. You stick with your anti-homosexual buddies and live your life.

And while you do that, I’ll be over here, with the cool kids. Being loving and accepting and supportive of other Americans who just wanna put a ring on it.

You Probably Aren’t Cut Out to be a Military Wife

I am 100% convinced that Army Wives….real, true Army Wives, are a special breed of woman. A lot of us are stay at home moms with 2+ kids…we get moved around every three years, away from our families and friends to start new lives. We deal with 6, 9, 12 month deployments with minimal interaction with our spouses. We hold down the fort and take care of the day to day bullshit.

There are Army wives who are certainly not cut out for military life. And those wives should probably rethink their choices about marrying a military man because they make the rest of us look bad.

If you think it’s okay to call your husbands boss and talk to him about any aspect of your husbands career you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. Would you like it if your husband called your boss to talk to them about your work performance? Or how you can better your career? No? Shocking. But some Army wives feel the need to call their husbands bosses and discuss their HUSBANDS career. Unacceptable ladies. If you have questions about your husbands career, ask your husband. And if HE has questions about his career, there is a number of people he can direct those questions to.

If you would call your husbands bosses and pull rank you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. You think “knowing” CPT so and so is gonna get your husband better treatment? Think again ladies! I’ve met and worked with a number of higher ranking military personnel. I also know my husbands bosses. I would NEVER dream of calling them and telling them that if they do x, y or z, I will call in the big guns. You know why? I’m not an asshole. My husband is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I am also perfectly capable of taking care of myself and our three kids. And if I ever needed my husband to do something, I most certainly would not be calling his bosses and threatening them.

If you would pull rank with other soldiers and wives
you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. Look lady, I don’t care who your husband is. I don’t care who my husband is (though, my husband and I do joke about this…between ourselves…at home). You’re a civilian. You have NO power in the military system. None, zip, nada. I swear, I will hit the first wife who, in all seriousness, says “do you know who my husband is?”

If you’re cheating on your husband while he’s deployed/on TDY/in the field you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. Seriously. That’s just fucked up.

If you’re expecting a handout while your husband is deployed you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. The Army (and I would assume other branches as well) has a whole slew of things set up for spouses with deployed soldiers. You can get free daycare, you can get a shit ton of other help from the military and I’m pretty sure most of your friends would lend a hand if you really needed it. But if you think your special because your husband is deployed, think again. The number of times I’ve left my kids with a babysitter this deployment? Probably around 5. The number of times I’ve asked friends for help? Probably around the same. I can do everything I need to do. I don’t need a hand out. I don’t need someone to save me from the day in and day out. I certainly wish I could have 20 minutes to myself, but like hell do I take advantage of people. Grow up ladies. This is your life. If you can’t make it through a deployment by asking for something or expecting something during your husbands deployment, think again. And on that note, if your friends do help you out, BE APPRECIATIVE!!! Seriously. They are taking the time out of their lives to give you a hand. Don’t be an asshole about it.

And along those lines, if you can’t follow OPSEC while your husband is deployed you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. I see this shit all the time. “My husband is gonna be home in 15 days!” Or “my husband will be home on April 19th!” Or “3 weeks to go!” Stop. Just stop. This is a security issue. It may not seem that important to you. But it is. Chill yourself out and be vague. I’m excited my husband is coming home…I really, really am… but I’m not telling the entire world when he’s coming home.

If you live on base and you can’t stop when the flag is being raised or lowered you probably aren’t cut out to be a military wife. I hate this one. More times than I can count, the music starts playing and people (mostly wives) are going about their business. Yea, I know that sometimes, it doesn’t mesh with your schedule to have to stop and face the flag, or stop your car. Sometimes, the kids are crabby. Sometimes, you have to be somewhere. But you are on a military installation. Where they do that. Every day. At the same time…every. day. If you don’t like it, either don’t live on post or don’t be out of your house or on post at those times. Seriously. It’s a simple rule.

Look ladies, I know being a military wife isn’t all glamorous. I see more people talk about the wives as dependapotomouses than I care to. But it’s because the crazy women….the ones who do all this shit…stick out like sore thumbs. Those of us who have deployed spouses, who just go on with our day to day of raising our kids the best we can by ourselves, and dealing with things as they come are lumped in with the crazies who demand respect when there is no respect to be given, or expect a handout just because their husband is deployed.

We aren’t supposed to get involved in our husband careers. I’ve been an Army wife for 5 years and the only thing I’ve ever talked about with my husbands bosses has been jokingly talking about where they should try to get us stationed at next (for the record, I pushed for Washington). My husband is in the army. Not me. Not my parents. Not his parents. And yes, we are just following him in life…and we’re all okay with that. But my job….my job is not to be his babysitter and make sure he’s doing x,y or z. He’s been in the Army long enough to know what’s going on and who to talk to if he needs something. Not mine. And it will never be mine.

Deployments suck. Staff duty sucks. Piss tests at 4am suck. Husbands being gone for over 12 hours a day sucks. I get that. I get that taking care of your 3 kids 24/7 for months on end sucks. I get it. But we chose to get involved with this life…we didn’t have to get married to the Army, but we did anyway. And we should take pride in the fact that our husbands do what they do instead of trying to go over their heads and be bitch-holes. But it sucks for them too. My husband has missed more of my birthdays than he’s been here for. He missed everyone birthday during this deployment. He’s missed A LOT. They sacrifice too.

Just remember all this the next time you decide to be an idiot. It’ll save all of us good Army wives a lot of trouble.

Why I Hate Facebook

So yesterday in the shower, I was thinking about how Facebook is an amazing social networking site. Where else can I learn about fucking science, embrace my atheism, see birth and breastfeeding photos and learn about all the idiots in the world, all while keep in touch with all my friends and family on the mainland?!

But let me tell you something. I. Hate. Facebook. And let me tell you why…

I’m “that guy”. Being a stay at home mom with an iPhone gives me access to Facebook all.the.time. It’s my duty, as a bored SAHM to share every single little thing that happens during my day…from how my toddler is a poop cheerleader, to how many bruises my son gets in a day, to my oldest daughters Justin Bieber obsession. And I share all of it. It probably seems like I do nothing all day (which isn’t true, just for the record) because I over share. I can’t help it. A lot of that has to do with the fact that my husband is deployed and I can’t unload everything on him when he gets home from work. More of it is because all of our family is on the mainland and they miss our kids. Also, I know you all love hearing about my grocery shopping trips and why I hate taking all three kids. Hey, at least I’m saving you the details about my cramps and periods.

Plus, sometimes I think I’m kind of funny. If I’m not, just pretend I am. Thanks.

I’m an Instagram whore. honestly, I don’t care about Instagram itself. I don’t use the hashtags (they fall into the category of #whogivesafuck for me) and I don’t really care about what other people are posting. But I can take pictures and put them all in sepia and post them on Facebook. Even my food….EVEN MY FOOD!!! I post so many pictures, mostly of my kids…so if you’re tired of the kid pics, you have three options. 1- get over yourself. 2- hide my posts. 3- delete my ass as a friend. (Also, the last time I told someone this, I got defriended. Big loss for me *eyeroll*)

Facebook makes it impossible to stalk the people who don’t want to be stalked. there are a handful of people who I feel it would be in my best interest if I Facebook stalked them. Definitely not in a romantic “I wanna be your baby mama” way (I’m already someone’s baby mama, thank you) but in a “I really want to know what you’re up to so I can rest easy” kind of way. Facebook makes that too damn hard. (Also, this is hypocritical of me because I have all kinda of security on my Facebook. But whatever.)

the games… so there are two categories to this. The games I hate seeing notifications for or getting send invites for. That just takes up space. I stopped playing games on Facebook at FarmVille. Second, the games I see people playing and then decide to download on my phone, which end up being huge time wasters in real life.

the idiots There has been more than a dozen times where I just want to bash my head into the nearest wall because of how dumb the Internet is. And thy are EVERYWHERE!!!! The judgey mcjudgersons, the trololololols, just….all the idiots need their own Facebook.

But there are things I do like about Facebook…..

Like the fact that if I’m in an argument with someone or I don’t like their views I can just ignore their ass. I don’t even defriend them or block their posts (usually). I just don’t look and pretend it doesn’t get me 5 minutes away from throwing things. I can’t do that face to face! It would be rude.

I can also talk about what I’m passionate about, like gay marriage/rights, breastfeeding and generally not being an asshole. I can also share a shit ton of stuff and leave it for my friends to ponder. Which is cool.

I can track my kids. I love seeing how my kids have grown and what ridiculous shit they’ve done. So it’s also for my benefit that I overshare because I’m quite forgetful.

I can piss off my husband by leaving the most ridiculous shit on his wall possible. Plus, we’re a pretty badass couple.

I get to see what all my friends are up to. I miss a lot being in Hawaii and moving with the military. I don’t get to see my best friend or my parents or my Inlaws very often, plus, it’s really cool to see what everyone is doing! I truly love 99% of what’s posted by my family and friends.

it’s social networking, bitches. I learn and find out about some of the coolest shit via Facebook. I really do. I find badass blogs and awesome stores. It’s all pretty fucking awesome.

So if you’re my Facebook friend, I seriously apologize for being an oversharer. And the Instagram thing. Sorry about that. But that isn’t going to change. So I’m sorry about that too. Just deal with it though.

The Fish is Sleeping…And Other Lies I Tell My Kids

Out of all my parent friends, I don’t know a single one who doesn’t tell their kids a small little lie every once in awhile.

These are some of my favorites…

“The ________ is closed” — insert anything your kid wants to do that you don’t feel like doing right then. Beaches and parks are included in this for me. Trust me kiddos, I love going to the beach as much as anyone…but all three of you with one adult? I’m totally outnumbered.

“In a minute….” — it ends up generally being more than 5 but less than 10 minutes.

“The fish is sleeping” — because I don’t want to pick you up every 10 minutes to see the fucking fish.

“so-and-so is sad.” — used mostly with the dog…sometimes, I just need one minute to myself.

“If you do x, y or z, you’ll probably die” — slipping out of the bathtub while trying to climb out probably won’t kill you, but there will probably be a lot of blood involved…so just stop while you’re ahead kiddo.

“I forgot to _______” — usually takes place with the laundry and certain shirts that my 6 year old wants to wear. I don't actually forget, (okay, sometimes I do forget) I'm just really lazy.

I tell my kids the truth sometimes…for instance….

“Even though I’m laughing, I’m still mad” — My kids are assholes sometimes. True story. And sometimes they do shit that part of me is super pissed off about and part of me thinks is hilarious. So I start laughing because it is over the top ridiculous. But just because I’m laughing, doesn’t mean I’m not mad.

“I don’t care about Justin Bieber” — Reilly is obsessed with the guy. Never mind that he’s 12 fucking years older than she is. Never mind that he’s a pop star. My kid loves this dude. And because of her I know tons of useless JB facts. I don’t care!! I really really don’t!!

“Of course you can!” — if my kids really, really want to do something (that isn’t going to probably kill them) I’m all for it. You wanna play 12 instruments? Done! You want to play baseball/soccer/football/tennis/dodgeball? Abso-fucking-lutely! You want badass earrings and pink hair?! Let me find some! I love letting my kids express themselves in ways that probably won’t kill them.

“I love you!” — totally ending on a sappy note. I love all three of my kids. They are all hilarious and fun. They are quirky and pains in my ass. I don’t care what they do as they grow up as long as they are happy, healthy, caring and respectful. Being a parent has its ups and downs…every parent knows that. But holy hell I love my kids to bits.